Things learned in the last 90 days. I (Steve) pondered this thought. The access to knowledge these days is almost limitless, especially with the advent of specialized T.V. channels, the internet, countless books on every subject imaginable, seminars, radio, and even the knowledge bank of the neighbour who sits on the front porch in his glide rocker. Yes, I have learned a lot in the last 90 days, but surprisingly enough, it’s from a completely different source than these mentioned above.

The source of my increased knowledge comes from my kids. With 5 kids, Cindy and I certainly teach our kids on a daily basis, but as I thought about it, there are things they are teaching me every day, and I thought I’d share some nuggets with you:

1. Sometimes Life Has To Wait While You Take a “Turk Run”.

On Wednesdays, my 13 year old son Jude has early dismissal at school. So, instead of getting an early crack at his homework, or surprising Dad with a car wash, he and his friend Josh get on their bikes and ride to the corner store for a pop and a Big Turk chocolate bar. Amazing that the homework and dirty car are still there when he gets back! But what he did was create a memory and fun experience shared with a friend. So, I’m learning to take my variation of a “Turk Run” once in awhile! It reminds me of the words to the song “Beautiful Boy” that state, “Life is what happens when you’re busy making other plans.”

2. Take The Party With You!

Adrianna is 11 and is different from me. When I got to school, I rolled up my shirt sleeves and asked, “What do I need to do today?” Adi, though, gets to school, takes a look around the classroom and asks, “Who’s here today and what will we do together?” She is very much in to relationship, whereas I’m way more task oriented. And when on task, I don’t like balloons or circus clowns, but to Adi, what would be the point of a task if you weren’t having fun? So, I’m learning to do more of what I love and the rest will take care of itself. The party doesn’t start when you get to the party. The party starts with you! Hmmm…

3. Sometimes It’s Ok To “Flash The Leather”.

Jared, my 9 year old son, loves hockey. He’s played hockey, loves ball hockey, and even mini hockey. Jared has a good glove hand, and so I introduced him to the glove snap of hockey legend Grant Fuhr. Fuhr played for the Edmonton Oilers and won a few Stanley Cups. But what he is perhaps most well remembered for is his “flashy” glove hand where he would make a routine save look extraordinary, often bringing the fans to their feet. So Jared has been practising this move, and is looking forward to using it when he begins playing goalie in ice hockey this year. But what’s the point of taking the ordinary and making it flashy? Hello, it makes you feel good, and you can laugh about it later with the guys in the locker room. So, I’m learning to “flash the leather” a bit more, not out of boastfulness or pride, but out of good fun and humour!

4. Life Is Better When You’re Holding Hands.

Mireya is 7 and in grade 1. She is the highest energy kid we have, with only 1 switch labelled “ON”. Like our new computer, she does go into sleep mode, but the processor is ready to go at any second. Mireya is also a loving and affectionate girl, and likes to hold hands. Although she loves to talk, sometimes we decide to not talk and just hold hands. And that act speaks volumes. Perhaps in life we need to simplify, find time to go for a walk, and just hold hands in silence. So, I’m learning that I can deal with anything life throws at me when I know I have somebody to hold hands with waiting for me at home.

5. Sometimes Love Is Mute.

This one might take some explaining. Nicole is our 5 year old daughter who has been part of our family for the last 3 months. In March, when our family first met her in the Philippines, Nicole wouldn’t even look at me. Cindy and I don’t know everything about her history but we do know that it was very traumatic for Nicole to be taken out of her birth country, to enter in to a new family relationship, and have a new Mom and Dad. Besides, what does “Dad” even mean? So, all I could do for this child was to love her by action. Feed her, bathe her, brush her teeth, play with her hair. Gradually she came to the point that she acknowledged me. However, she wasn’t ready to pass the title of “Dad” to me yet. So, she started with “Santa”! I suppose there are some similarities since I haven’t been exercising as much…

As I continued to initiate with Nicole, she began to go for the occasional car ride with me, and even comes down to my office on the days I work from home to tell me lunch is ready. Joy of joys I even got my first kiss on the cheek from her the other day, although I probably did take advantage of her heightened state of excitement as I was walking her and Mireya to the ice cream truck. My bad :-) So, I’m learning that love is hard work because love is action. Have you heard that lately? It’s not a feeling but a decision.

So, I continue to muddle through, and I continue to learn. So now I wonder if I would get even smarter if I had a few more kids?


Steve

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